Standstill

Alright, time to get my head into the game.

I've got two classes that are difficult, two classes that are marginal, and one class that simply blows my mind.

My smallest class is my worst.  They are chatty, disinterested, whine about how they don't know anything, they learned nothing last year, etc.

My largest class is so fun.  There are thirty six of them and they are always all there.  Every seat in my classroom is filled but they come in with this sense of community, purpose and responsibility.  It is the only class that I might actually get ten minutes to sit at my desk and organize something while they are testing or doing a free write.  They go for it.  They act silly, they get up and dance.  I feel like asking them, "Who are you people and where have you hidden the teenagers?!"

I think the powers that be knew that I needed this class this year.  The truth is I am getting so discouraged.  Was this the right career path for me? I get up every morning with a sense of dread rather than possibility.  I try to picture starting a family with this career and I just can't even begin to imagine.  The stress, the constant scrutiny from parents, the community, the general negativity of the school - it wears me down and makes me feel small.  I think about the fact that I'm only twenty five and how maybe I'm too young to shoulder this kind of responsibility.  I know that there are many wonderful young teachers out there, but some days I dream of sitting at a desk at an office, peacefully sipping my coffee and steadily plodding away at my work.  I think about how I wouldn't be in bed at 8:30 every night, or how I could have a seven o'clock dinner with a friend.  I think about how I could stay up watching a movie with my husband and if I was tired the next day I would just hunker in at my desk and not have to answer to 160+ students.  I think about driving home and leaving work behind, waking up in the morning without sense of urgency or nervousness.

I think about it a lot. 

I spent my whole childhood playing teacher and dreaming about my future classroom and future students.  I went to college knowing exactly what I wanted to major in.  I student taught and had my dream job fall into my lap. Maybe that's the problem - the idealization of it all. 

I know I will finish the year.  I know that I make a difference and that like any career, teaching comes with highs and lows.  I've only had one job that I've liked and it might just be that I am not a strong career type.  I would classify myself as a "lazy overachiever."  I'd rather not spend time doing work, but if I am going to do it has to be perfect.  I don't operate well around chaos and I refuse to leave any lesson to chance.  So I plan, plan, plan, plan.  However, rather than reveling in my perfect creation or masterpiece I resent it because it took me so long and I hated the process.  That looks pretty ugly written in plain print, but it's the truth. 

I've decided the negative attitude has to go.  I don't like seeing it on my students and I'm quite certain it's no more attractive worn by me.  Enter blogging.  If I write it out I can get it out of my system, close my laptop and leave it to the cybersphere. 

So now, after the blue sad thoughts I have a question that burns to be answered.  At what point do I need to take a step back and really make a tough choice?

TPRS in preterit

For whatever reason I have a terrible time creating TPRS class stories in the preterit.

It makes me nervous for whatever reason and the stories just seem to "lack" something that my Spanish I present tense stories have.

So I've decided to just GO FOR IT.  It's a little ugly but I've got to try because I really do believe this style of teaching works.

www.martinabex.com saves my life over and over and over again.  Martina's story scripts give me something to work with (or really everything because her scripts are HILARIOUS and contain fabulous high-frequency terms) so I can play with changing bits and pieces to past tense.

Today I felt a little but like a genius.  It happens so rarely in my Spanish II classes that I have to revel and soak in this moment.  I took the story script "Una persona especial" from Martina Bex and retold it in the preterit.  Before telling the story I taught the vocab first, did gestures, dictionary pictures and practice sentences.

Then - I passed out a version of it written in present tense with the verbs underlined. Students read the written version out loud with a partner. Students had to change them BACK into preterit.  We reviewed the preterit verbs and then students re-read with a partner their modified past tense version.

Next, students are going to rewrite this story with their own details.  This story was PERFECT for a rewrite.  They had to pick a new main character, a new placed the character walked to, a new famous/special person they saw.  I made them fill out a "plan" sheet of their story and show it to me for credit before they left today.

The students will write the stories on a form that contains a rubric written specifically for this writing assessment.  This is an "open" writing assessment meaning that I will allow them to use notes and dictionaries but not their friend or myself.  Usually I don't give these types of "assessments" since it's not really measuring what they can do, but the assessments have been a little low lately and the category could use a boost, as well as the students' confidence level.

Finally, I will quickly breeze through their writing, assign them a proficiency level based on the rubric and circle errors.  Students will pick two sentences with errors and re-write them correctly on Monday.  .

Classroom Management

Tonight I had a great opportunity to hear the thoughts of many other language teachers on a very popular topic: classroom management.

Oh, the joy of "managing" a classroom of (if you're lucky) thirty-some adolescent learners.  This year I have more students than ever.  Classroom space is at a premium and between trying to keep myself organized in a room that feels more like a shoebox than a learning space has been challenging.  My largest class has thirty six students and my smallest is still a healthy twenty six.

Classroom management is complex.  So many factors go into having a classroom run smoothly.  I am still learning every day the hazards of managing my classroom and finding out that it is an art and definitely not a science.  What works with one student will not with another.  Or what works in one class will fail in another.  But generally, across the board, a few things have made my life as a new (and very young looking teacher - this NEVER helps) easier.

1. Seating chart. No questions, no fuss, it is what it is.  Assigned seats are not a punishment, they are an expectation in my class.

2. Transitions.  There cannot be "down" time in any of my classes.  We ALWAYS must be do something.  I also set students up with a task as I pass out papers, as I get the next activity organized.  They must not sit and talk in English, getting them back is always harder once you've let them go.

3.  Balancing activities.  Never does an activity in my class last longer than twenty minutes.  On an eighty minute day this means we do at least four activities.  I mix communicative activities with writing/reading activities.  The breaks help make the writing/reading activities more peaceful.  I find it helpful to get out of my shoebox room and work in the hall or a common space during communicative activities.

4.  Establishing a connection with students.  It's harder to be a complete jerk to a teacher that makes an effort to get to know you and shows that they care about you.

5.  "I" statements.  It sounds like couple's therapy, but for me it works.  Rather than "You can't turn that in late," or "You need to have this done," I purposefully try to place myself in a position of authority.  "I accept assignments that are turned in on time for credit."  "I am willing to let students have the first ten minutes of lunch to finish their assessments."  "I extend bathroom privileges to students that use them responsibly." "I am available to discuss this at 2:00." I. I. I. I am the teacher :)

And so much more to learn. 

It takes a village to raise a teacher

I am convinced that is takes the support of an entire network of amazing master teachers to raise a novice teacher.

Where would I be without the assurance that it gets easier?  The countless tips I've received by the copy machine?

I have met some truly selfless people in this profession that would do anything to help a struggling new teacher.  They offer lesson plans, talk classroom management strategies, bring you cups of coffee, or offer to watch your class for you so you can run to the bathroom quickly.  They even offer to meet up with you outside of school time (gasp!) and mentor you. 

It truly takes a village to raise a teacher.  I only hope one day I can be as much of a service to young teachers as my mentors were to me.

Take a Minute.

Whew!  Today is one of those days when I just need to take a minute.  I allowed myself to get really frusterated with one of my classes today and I find myself slipping into that familiar pattern of "starting a war" with a "bad" class.  What is it about kids behaving immaturely that brings out your own immaturity?

It started with my native Spanish speaker (who should not be in level two anyways) correcting my Spanish the entire period.  Constantly looking with a look of "that isn't correct" or even raising his hand to tell me the preferred method of saying it really got me pretty cranky.  I've tired to communicate to him several times, "THIS IS SPANISH TWO.  WE ARE GOING TO LEARN THE BASIC WAY TO SAY THINGS." But it seems a little lost on him.  I think next week and independent library research project is coming his way....and another "chat" tomorrow.

Of course my lesson plan wasn't tight enough to handle all his disruptions/corrections along with the general chattiness and negative attitude of these second year language learners.  UGH.  Why do these kids keep going if they are just dead weight?!  Don't they know its an ELECTIVE? They groan, they moan, the complain, they have about as much energy as a wet blanket.  And today I just about had a kid fit in front of them.  I had to leave the class for a minute to get myself together.  Embarrassing. And it will have ramifications.  Rather than being strong, neutral, and consistent they realize "I can get under her skin." It's like sharks smelling blood.

After a weekend of relaxing you would think I'd have a better handle on things today.

That being said, my Spanish I classes behaved beautifully and they are the light that keeps bringing me back for more.